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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29170800">Reaching Out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letterman/pseuds/writeanon'>writeanon (Letterman)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Holding Hands</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:53:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29170800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letterman/pseuds/writeanon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They don't hold hands until they are old and brittle.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi/Hange Zoë</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Reaching Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“And then, you won’t believe this, Armin said that he saw Annie apologize to Mikasa. I mean, can you even imagine?” Hange recounted excitedly, her hands animated as she spoke. “Armin said both of them were so uncomfortable, they looked like they’d rather be fighting Titans. Honestly, they probably miss fighting Titans as much as I do studying them. Those two were cut from the same cloth, it's a shame they didn’t warm up to each other for so long. I’m glad that it sounds like they’re finally getting along.” </p>
<p>“Hange,” Levi interrupted, “let’s stop.” </p>
<p>Hange blinked, snapped out of her reverie. She looked at the diminutive soldier beside her. Time had left it's irrefutable mark on him, streaks of gray invading his unruly head of hair and new wrinkles accompanying old scars. It would have been imperceptible to anyone else, but Hange noticed that Levi had shifted his weight off his bad leg and was slightly grimacing. </p>
<p>“Oh, sorry, sorry! We’ve been walking for a while. Is your leg bothering you?” </p>
<p>Levi huffed as he hobbled over to sit on a nearby bench. “Only every moment since the day it was injured.”</p>
<p>Hange joined him, wincing as the scar tissue from the burns that covered her body made contact with the wood. “I guess we’re just two old soldiers that outlasted our expiration date.” She looked down and her own mottled hand, an ugly patchwork of purple and red welts staring back at her. “With these ruined bodies of ours, I wonder if surviving was even worth it.” </p>
<p>Levi remained silent, and Hange’s thoughts drifted to that day. The view as she stared out at a sea of colossals, their red-hot flesh glistening in the sunlight. The overwhelming heat that had enveloped her, setting her ablaze and stripping her flesh raw. The painful miracle it had been that she had survived. </p>
<p>Hange took a deep breath, steeling her nerves. It had been almost twenty years since that day. Was there a time limit to such things? She had thought about it many times since then, but it never felt right to bring up that day. </p>
<p>She might as well ask. </p>
<p>“Levi. What did you mean, when you told me to devote my heart back then?” </p>
<p>Levi hunched over slightly, his jet black bangs drifting forward and concealing his eyes.</p>
<p>“I don’t remember what you’re talking about.” he said, staring straight forwards at the windswept field of grass before them. </p>
<p>Hange raised an eyebrow. “I think it’s been long enough that I can tell when you’re lying.”  </p>
<p>“And I think it's been long enough that this question is past due, don’t you think? Shitty two-eyes.”</p>
<p>Hange stared down at her shoes, rubbing them into the dirt. She gripped the bench, a dull and familiar pain flooding the nerves that hadn’t burned away. “Well,” she exhaled, “I still wanna know.” </p>
<p>“Tch.” Levi turned away from her, and said nothing. They sat in silence for a few seconds. Minutes? Hours? Hange didn’t mind spending quiet time with Levi. But the uncomfortable tension in this quiet made her wonder if she had overstepped some boundary she had failed to notice in all the years they had spent together. </p>
<p>“Sorry.” Hange whispered, her voice small. “Forget I said anything.” </p>
<p>“Shut up, shitty glasses.” Levi scowled. “It's rude to interrupt someone when they’re thinking.” </p>
<p>“Thinking about what?” Hange chirped instantly, causing Levi to sigh heavily.</p>
<p>“Thinking about.” Levi started to turn towards Hange, but then apparently thought better of it, keeping his back to her. “What you said in the forest that day.”</p>
<p>“Hmm? What do you mean?” she replied, perplexed. “What did I say?” </p>
<p>“What did you mean, when you said we should live together in that forest?” The strain in Levi’s voice was obvious. </p>
<p>Hange could feel her cheeks heat up as she averted her gaze. “O-oh, that! Haha! That’s some memory, that you managed to remember that of all things, on such a hectic day. Ackermanns sure are something, I suppose!” She laughed a bit too loudly. </p>
<p>Silence. </p>
<p>“Answer my question.” Levi said, and Hange was caught off-guard, because there was something indescribable in the tone of his voice that she had never heard before. </p>
<p>“I… w-well, I was just talking to myself.” </p>
<p>“So was I.” </p>
<p>“Huh?” She turned to him and was taken aback to find him looking up at her, an intense expression drawn on his face. </p>
<p>“When I said… what I said to you. I was talking to myself.” Levi looked at Hange. It almost looked as though he were pleading for her to understand. </p>
<p>Hange stared at him blankly. “Sorry Levi. I might be a brilliant Titan expert, but even I need you to be a bit more specific.” </p>
<p>Levi’s eyebrows furrowed and he stared off. To anyone else, he would appear to be bored, but Hange could tell that a furious internal debate appeared to be taking place with the aged soldier. After a few moments of indiscernible deliberation, he took a deep breath and gathered himself. </p>
<p>“That day.” the wounded veteran turned to her. He slowly reached out to her with his maimed and scarred hand, whose ring and pinky fingers had been obliterated down to the knuckle. Despite it's mangled appearance, it came to gently rest it above where Hange’s heart would be. “That day, I devoted my own heart.” </p>
<p>Hange blinked, looking down to stare at his hand on her chest, before looking up at him. Her eyes slightly widened as she realized with a start that a light pink had managed to creep into his cheeks. </p>
<p>Levi noticed her reaction, then suddenly appeared to realize what he was doing. Quick as a flash, he retracted his hand and stood up, clearing his throat loudly. “Let’s get a move on. It's getting dark.”</p>
<p>Hange got to her feet slowly. She felt as though moving any faster might cause the whirlwind of her thoughts to rage even further out of control. She blinked rapidly, trying to understand what had just happened and stop her surroundings from spinning. When she looked up, she saw Levi briskly walking away. </p>
<p>She caught up to him without a word, and the two continued to walk in silence, until Hange tapped her chin with her index finger and wondered aloud, “so... who taught you to grope a woman’s chest when you confess to them?” </p>
<p>Levi sniffed. “That wasn’t a confession, idiot.”</p>
<p>“I think it was,” Hange said, grinning. “But... I am the idiot who took 20 years to get it.” </p>
<p>To this Levi said nothing, and then continued to walk. </p>
<p>“Hey, Levi. How many more of these walks do you think we’ve got left?”</p>
<p>“You sure are talkative today.” he grumbled. </p>
<p>“I’m just saying, there might not be that many chances left.” A pause and a breath. “Wanna hold hands?” </p>
<p>A sound like a cross between a sharp exhale and a strangled throat clear came from Levi, but no other sounds came. Hange assumed her suggestion had been shot down, until she picked up on his faint mumbling.</p>
<p>“Hmm? What did you say?” </p>
<p>“I said… it's not like there’s much left to hold.” Levi continued to stare straight forward.</p>
<p>Hange looked down at Levi’s mutilated hand, then looked to her own burnt palms and withered fingers. </p>
<p>“As if mine is any better. Actually, never mind. You probably don’t want to touch this… this gross thing.” She stared at her hand for a moment, sorrow bubbling up in her before forcefully pushing it back down. She wiggled and flopped her scarred hand around as though it were a dead fish. “Hahaha! What a nasty thing, wouldn’t you agree!?” </p>
<p>At that moment, without a word or glance to Hange, Levi reached out and firmly grasped Hange’s hand, causing her to yelp in surprise. His fingers wrapped around hers awkwardly, the way a small child might, his palm perpendicular to hers. He squeezed her hand, and they both could feel every groove and indent that had been physically carved into them over a lifetime. </p>
<p>“...It's fine. Since it's your hand.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Request: "they would probably hold hands when they reached the 50s"</p>
<p>If it wasn't clear, I interpreted the "Devote your heart" scene where Levi holds his hand over Hange's chest as him devoting his own heart (aka Hange).</p>
<p>A kind anon even drew the final scene! <a href="https://i.imgur.com/UzFeARv.jpg">Look how cute it is!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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